Because of You, I am me

Recently I was with some family members who were visiting from out of town.  We were going through the book called The Complete Book of Questions asking each other to pick a number and then reading the question to have us answer.  It was my turn and I picked #973.  The question:  Do you think God has ever used pain and suffering to get your attention?  If so, what was he trying to get across to you?

I hesitated and stumbled through answering the question.  Realizing I wasn’t giving this answer justice I went over and grabbed my worn out fuzzy green journal knowing this would help explain myself better.

I opened the book and the first page I came to was this…

Not only did you form me, design me, and create me. But you also chose where I live, what will happen to me, where I will go.  And when You planned that, You did, so that I would find You.

The things that are beautiful in my life, You placed so that I would seek You.  Those moments in my life that are ugly, You placed so that I would reach out for You.  Every detail of my life, You have planned so that I would find You.

Because of You…I live, because of You…I move, because of You…I am me.  Thank you.

…He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.  God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.  For in Him we live and move and have our being…

Acts  17:  26-28

My experiences form me and create passion within me, allowing me to be me, to love.

Not Yet

You call me…

You keep on calling my name.

I hear you…

And I look up, I want to see You.

To be with You.

My eyes try to focus on where I think I heard Your voice.

And I jump up to move towards You.

All senses are at attention as my body responds to Your call.

I fall…

Pain shoots through palms.

I look down…

Scraped knees and hands,

Blood drips.

Startled, my eyes look around me, and I see.

All this around me, which has always surrounded me.

Every day, and I was not aware.

It was hidden…

Anguish filled souls.

They were covered…

Scared hearts.

Pain thrives.

I listen and I can hear the cry, utter sadness.

In the middle of a crowded room filled with chatter.

Empty eyes behind the laughter.

I look to You…

And arms reach up.

“Take me home please…”

“Not yet” You reply,

“Help them.”

With gentle caress You touch my outreached hands

And I feel the balm of healing, as I look to Your face with tear filled eyes,

I nod, Yes Lord.  Understanding.

Even God’s love did not achieve its purpose without suffering.  By suffering, God bore our sins to attain the greatest act of perfect love.  We too are able to live a life of love through our suffering to reflect Christ to others.

Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.  Ephesians 5:2

- Sue Parrott