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As
a child growing up in a Christian home, I knew that I needed to have a “relationship
with Jesus Christ”. I was told that God’s desire for me was not to
pursue religion but a relationship with Him.
And I was given a list of things to do to ensure that I would follow –
ü
read
my Bible every day
ü
pray
ü
attend
church
ü
put
money in the offering plate, etc . . .
And
so, I struggled. It was a vicious cycle of knowing what to do,
trying and failing and then the overwhelming guilt . . . round and round it went.
Why
was trying to have an intimate relationship with God so hard? I wanted it?
Why couldn't I experience it?
One
day I was crying out to God, telling Him how I longed for so much more in my marriage. I desired my husband to WANT to spend time
with me, not because he HAD to but because he WANTED to. I longed for him to WANT to be with me.
Then it happened. . .
I
felt God whisper to me, "That's how I want you to love me!"
What?! Could this be what I'd been missing all these years?
It suddenly dawned on me that God didn't want me to spend time with Him because I HAD to; He wanted me to WANT to spend time with Him. It wasn’t a checklist. It was a relationship!
What?! Could this be what I'd been missing all these years?
It suddenly dawned on me that God didn't want me to spend time with Him because I HAD to; He wanted me to WANT to spend time with Him. It wasn’t a checklist. It was a relationship!
God
had the same longing and desire for my relationship with Him, as I had for my
husband!
If my
husband saw our relationship solely as a list of duties:
ü
Took
out the trash.
ü
Played
with the kids
ü
Kissed
my wife
ü
Fixed
the leaking faucet
I’m
sure you can imagine what my response would be . . . And yet, that’s how I viewed my relationship
with God.
If I give everything I have to the poor and even sacrifice my body, I could boast about it; but if I don’t love others, I have gained nothing. 1Corinthians 13.3 (NLT)
If I give everything I have to the poor and even sacrifice my body, I could boast about it; but if I don’t love others, I have gained nothing. 1Corinthians 13.3 (NLT)
Why would
God feel any differently about the checklist I had for Him? These weren’t given to me so I could check them
off and feel good about myself. They were given to
develop my love for God and grow my relationship with Him and absent
of love and relationship they become only things to boast about, nothing more.
John
Ortberg, in his book God is Closer than You Think
tells the story of his grandmother who had six children. When asked which of her six children she
loved the most . . . "She said love for your children
doesn't work that way. She said it's as
if when each child is born, another room gets added to your heart. And no one else occupies that room. It doesn't have to be bigger or better than
any other room. It's just theirs."
"'In my Father's house are
many rooms,' Jesus said. One of them was
added on when you became his child. That
one is yours, and no one else can ever occupy it. It is secret to you and Him. It's your own Sistine chapel. It is furnished by every moment of intimacy
and wonder and togetherness shared by you and your Father. " (John Ortberg)
If
you have struggled, like me, in having an intimate relationship with God, I
encourage you to set aside the checklist and just BE with Him. He is waiting, inviting you to grab hold of
this incredible relationship. He has a room prepared just for you -
won't you meet Him there today?
Lord, put within us a burning to desire to WANT to be with You, not because we know we should but because we simply desire You. May we be satisfied with nothing less. Amen.
-Kristi Huseby
Broken and Redeemed Blog
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